I don't wanna be loved,

I don't wanna be loved /

I don't want you to enter my heart, to make a home,

knowing one day you'll leave

and it'll ruin my blood /

I don't want to close my eyes, with you on my mind

and find that you're still there when I wake
with the dawn and the sunrise / I don't want to anticipate
our first kiss or have my thoughts linger on our last /

I don't want you to elevate your hopes,
while I try to explain my past / I don't want this to last,
I don't want this to last / I don't want to discuss "us",
I don't want the stakes to be raised while we try
to build up trust /

I don't want the seeds of a crush to embed and interrupt...
weaving themselves into weeds that only distract
and corrupt /

I don't want to fly or to fall / I'd rather stand rooted
and tall, a blind slave to gravity / I don't ever wish
to question or consider your reasoning in having me,
trying to comprehend the version of me you see /

I don't want to wait for you to wake up,
realizing that I'm not for you /

I don't want to reflect and write poems about love
and what was / I don't want to read quotes, instructing
me to "smile because it happened" /
I may not be the master of my fate but at least,
I can control some of my actions /

I don't want to be bound by the laws of so called,
"attraction" / is it wrong to imagine chemistry,
as an accident waiting to happen? /

I don't need to see the beauty in you
and how it emanates from your ribcage to your surface /
life is full of risks but I don't think,
that any of this is worth it /

and rest assured, this has nothing
to do with being perfect / but there's no easier way
to word it and I think it's best if now,
you heard it /

I don't wanna be loved /

cuz I've been poisoned by the snake and in study
and pursuit of something great, I've made
so many mistakes / I'd probably be better off,
if I had just learned how to wait
but now my soul is strained, as my heart bears
the brunt of this weight /

now I'm afraid it's too late for me to recover
from this fate /

I don't wanna be loved /

leave me alone with this pain, where sweat and tears
blend but I just call it all rain /

I'm not looking for a rescuer /
I did my dirt and I am stained /
I'm just chronicling my path,

I've learned not to complain /

I don't wanna be loved /
12:4:14, 5.19 AM