Who can impart a spark to my heart? A bit of fire,
a bit of light, to part the dark and give
my soul a little start /

You flick your wrist, catalyst to a tease /
spontaneous texts received, almost send
me to my knees / in part for worship,
the other accursed cuz you're still hurting me /

birthing butterflies in the form of our memories /

I crave your touch but like "Rogue,"
I know you'll siphon my energy /

somehow our circumstances caused us to elevate
our state but the stakes were far too great,
so the same atmosphere is what ultimately sealed
and will one day separate our fates /

friends become lovers, become friends /
by the time this track is over, we'll have undergone
this fools ritual again / if only we could just fall
in love and I could make you happy and high
like junkies who dive into pools of drugs /

but I am poison
and
I am parasite /

...

a sheepish surface but paired with a wounded spirit,
lonely and imperfect might bring a wolf to light /
no, no, no...I don't mean to bite /
and tho' this may be a very scary sight,
ya know they say love is blind, so I'm hoping,
you'll still stay the night, stay the night, stay the night /

yeah, I know we ain't livin' right /

but it's so much easier to sin, than to ever repair
the mirror and confront what lies within /

where might we be if we had our fathers love? /
I'm 28 and can barely tell you who my papa was /
first cries, coming into the world naked,
oblivious to the fact that the other half of me,
couldn't take it / or something of the sort,
it's all still kinda complicated /

I used to wonder and question my mother
but figured my curiosity would dissipate
if it was continually sedated /

repression is my weapon of choice cuz I can't face it /

pieces of my heart left in Maryland, their absence
lingering like a favorite fragrance /
my roots will always remain but destiny demanded
changes / 20 feet, some change and maybe one prayer
away from greatness /

trying to cast so many shackles off like I've spent
the last three years with Cinqué, traveling on slave ships /
when all a nigga really wanna do is vibe on spaceships,
shine on stage, shit /

still here with bruises and dry tears, so I guess,
I gotta make it / lights, camera, action...I gotta take it,
I need to take it /

running ragged and naked, discombobulated,
all up in these rat races / trying to keep my head
but the devil's so determined to take it /

damn, these Manhattan vices / I've strived to save
these coins but I'm repeatedly subjected
to these Manhattan prices /

c'est la vie, c'est la vie / he no seek no pity,

no 'woe is me' / just recounting some of the pieces
that make up my story / ongoing...I'm going...

grip my neck, Lord, guide my feet / step by step,
I'm on a quest to love peace / but one of the only times
she comes around is when I can find sleep but clearly
the Sandman's been overwhelmed, cuz I've been competing
with the moon for weeks /

insomnia keeps me up, while my conscience
and heart speak / from drips that echo in the dark,
to floods that rush to seep from my pores /
but I can't let it all leak... /

I'm in bondage to deeds, the fallible ways of man /

I've scattered spurious seeds /
regret takes root and you find yourself,
carrying nothing but weeds /

and I can't hear or understand what it is,
that anyone else sees / if you can, please give it to me,

I mean, tangibly / I think I'm trapped,

cuz I am free /

but don't mourn me /
for now, just hear my view /
there's so many different things that I would tell you,

like how I still miss you /

but I'm wary of hurting you anymore
and giving you stress, undue / when my thoughts
still dismay, laying in disarray, so there's plenty
of discord in my actions too /

I'm scared, I need you...stay away,
I don't trust myself
or you /

is it love I hate? I'm awake with desires /
no give, all take / I'm struggling to handle the fire...
maybe,

I love you /

turn away, please stay...your smile, your smell /

my heart, it swells /

is this real?

I can't tell / what happens, if we gel? /

I can't stand...myself /

I love my---
12:18:14, 4.25 AM